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Should I name it?
Nov. 19th, 2009 | 01:08 pm
mood: geeky
listening to: Chartjackers - I've got nothing | Powered by Last.fm
There's a firefly living in my room. That makes me happy.
The first time I noticed it, waking up disoriented in the middle of the night, it scared me. The room was completely dark and there was this glowing sphere moving in the room. I layed there petrified, trying to figure out what it was, for about 30 seconds. But then I figured that if it were to turn into a demon and attack me I could definitely crush it if I acted fast enough. I turned the light on and had to get really close to see that it was the tiniest bug on my wall. I felt stupid.
I noticed it again last night, and this time I just smiled and went back to sleep.
Dr. Google told me that this specific kind firefly is called a nimita around here. Nimita from a word for soul in Spanish (ánima) because some think them to be spirits. Cute.
I hope it doesn't die or go away soon. I like having it there.
The first time I noticed it, waking up disoriented in the middle of the night, it scared me. The room was completely dark and there was this glowing sphere moving in the room. I layed there petrified, trying to figure out what it was, for about 30 seconds. But then I figured that if it were to turn into a demon and attack me I could definitely crush it if I acted fast enough. I turned the light on and had to get really close to see that it was the tiniest bug on my wall. I felt stupid.
I noticed it again last night, and this time I just smiled and went back to sleep.
Dr. Google told me that this specific kind firefly is called a nimita around here. Nimita from a word for soul in Spanish (ánima) because some think them to be spirits. Cute.
I hope it doesn't die or go away soon. I like having it there.
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Yo te juro...
Nov. 1st, 2009 | 07:29 pm
mood: 
happy
listening to: Cat Power - Colors and the Kids | Powered by Last.fm
Ayer fue tranquilo, el Halloween más tranquilo que he tenido. (El del año pasado es nulo porque estaba enferma. Punto.) Pero la pase bien.
El Plan A hubiera sido que viniera un grupo a casa y nos quedáramos viendo películas y bobeáramos, but that didn't turn out so well. Así que el Plan B fue salir con Angie y Pip.
Fuimos al cine, después a comer y, de último minuto, más tarde a casa de Angie. El gran plan era vestirnos con lo que encontráramos allí (porque ninguno tenía disfraz puesto) y salir a pedir dulces, pero nos recogieron a mí y a Pipo como cinco minutos después de llegar. But then we stayed at my house watching the Ghost Hunters countdown, eating stolen candy from my siblings and playing with my cat.
Vimos The Vampire's Assitant. La película está regular, but it was fun enough and had cute guys. Angelia showed up with Angie, which was a nice surprise since we hadn't hung out together in easily two years. We still got it, though. Nos despedimos con promesas de que se repetiría. Cuando llegamos a la urbanización de Angers, aunque estaba repleto de nenes chiquitos (bueno, prácticamente toda la clase de octavo de la escuela), no escuchamos ni un trick or treat. Tampoco por mi casa. What is the world coming to?
When Pipo finally left, terminó Halloween con nuevos chistes internos, promesas de un par de libritas ganadas y la realización de que, contra, estamos creciendo de verdad.
Kind of bittersweet, but I stil had a nice time and I really needed that.
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Writer's Block: Yes, offense taken
Oct. 25th, 2009 | 02:03 pm
mood: 
contemplative
listening to: the TV (Being Human)
I'm always lecturing my friends on not using the word gay as an insult.
Una parte de mí muere cada vez que lo escuchó, y más cuando son personas con las que me mezclo. Es otra de las muchas cosas por las que siento vergüenza ajena.
Para mí, por más exagerado o ridículo que pueda parecer, son pequeños comentarios como esos los que fomentan el odio y la ignorancia: comentarios que uno hace sin darle mucha cabeza, comentarios repetidos que la mayoría del tiempo se hacen hasta sin ninguna intención de ofender.
I get that you don't mean it like that, but do you get the repercusions it might have? ¿Qué si un niño pequeño te escucha y desde ese momento asocia esa palabra con cosas malas? If no one's there to teach him any better, he may grow up to be an homophobic.
Can you even grasp how much pain and discrimination gay people have had to fight over the years? That insult gives off horrible connotations.
Creo que si queremos erradicar ese miedo y odio por completo debemos empezar por eliminar acciones como esta. Pasito a pasito.
Vashti me pudo entender y ha dejado de usarlo. Gracias, Vash.
Le empecé a explicar a Noheli y se insultó. Miró para el lado y me dijo que no me estaba escuchando. Pendeja.
Con Angie parece que le entra por un oído y le sale por el otro. Nimodo.
No tuve la energía para explicarle a Juan. Me debería sorprender de él, que es bisexual y mayor que mis otros amigos, pero no. Otro morón.
Igual pasa con Mami y la manera en que insulta a Tavo, diciéndole que parece una mujercita cada vez que llora. No solo le baja la autoestima a mi hermanito, que bastante delicada la tiene, pero también promueve el sexismo y una mala imagen para las mujeres. No paro de regañarla y como quiera no consigo nada. Me causa tanta rabia.
No siempre les llamo la atención, sin embargo. Uno se cansa. Uno se desilusiona.
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Little Things
Oct. 20th, 2009 | 07:33 pm
mood: 
calm
listening to: Destination Truth
"¡La puñeta de clase esta! ¡No aprendo un carajo en esa mierda!" - Nosvi
Vashti le pregunto a Michael si se estaba convirtiendo en hombre lobo y no nos había dicho. Triste.
Ortiz escucho a Muse en mi iPod y le gustó. Confesó que en su juventud era un "rockero malo", pero no se atrevió a dar el nombre de su banda. Boooo.
Oh, Destination Truth, how I love thee. Mal, muy mal.
Descubrí que me gustan mucho las historias tristes, de odio, desesperación, destrucción o locura. ¿Qué dice eso de mí? ¿Debo asustarme?
I'm liking Google Chrome. It's pretty and fixes my spelling mistakes.
Yo y Fabe vamos a ser esa pareja de viejitas en el cine en unos cincuenta o sesenta años. Me gusta la idea.
Dolorito Montojo, te amo. I grieve your death.
I'm reading The Bell Jar.
Más nada. O tal vez sí. Mucho, mucho más. Pero no. Me cansó de tratar de hacer sentido de lo que pienso constantemente.
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(no subject)
Oct. 14th, 2009 | 09:49 pm
mood: 
cynical
listening to: viendo Mysteryquest :)
I really hate how some people my age act towards religion. It's okay if you don't believe in anything - hey, I'm agnostic - but you don't have to act so condescendingly about it. Most of my peers who are also non-believer's think they are so bad-ass and hip because they aren't like the rest of them. "Pshh, those poor faithful morons. Let's go laugh in their faces." It makes me feel ashamed. I don't want these people to be the ones I identify with. If no one is attacking your beliefs, why do you feel the need to attack those of others? No one has provoked, what are you acting so defensive for? Be respectful. Be tolerant. Some can really act like ignorant jerks.
Edit: (The following may not have a direct relation to my original post, but they were birthed out of it.)
No one can prove or disprove the existence of a god. Some people choose to believe, some people choose not to believe. Whichever way you try to convince the other of your point of view, you will end up going around in circles. Don't fight. It doesn't make any sense.
Yes, I do think the world would be better off without religion. At least without organized religion. But I understand the human need to hold on to something. If that something has to be some form of higher power, well, I'm not going to take it away from them.
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Qué bolsa
Oct. 13th, 2009 | 04:38 pm
mood: cheerful
listening to: Belle and Sebastian - Simple Things | Powered by Last.fm
I hate that I haven't posted anything in so long. I'm sorry, journal. I'm sorry, anyone who reads my entries. I don't have much to talk about lately, and if I do I just don't have the energy to rant. Sometimes I get home and don't even turn on the computer. I've already gone a straight week without doing so... Yeah, this semester has been pretty demanding. Whoever it was that told me senior year was going to be a breeze is crazy.
Anyway, I'm posting because I felt compelled to let the world know how much I love the Diary of a Wimpy Kid series. Yesterday was the release of Book Four in the series and me and a friend where right there at Borders looking for our books along with all the little kids. The books are so much fun. They are funny - laugh-out-loud funny - and fast-paced, and they have pictures. They have pictures! Cartoons is more like it, really funny cartoons.
I've brought the last two books to school and I'm starting to recruit people already. The bottom line is that everyone should read them. You'd love them, I know.
Also, I feel the need to rant a bit about Sookie Stackhouse. It's not enough that I'm obsessed with True Blood the show, I recently decided I would read the books. And I did. All nine books. In about a month. Mostly reading two per weekend. Not healthy.
The books focus on Sookie Stackhouse, a telepathic bar maid from a small town in northern Louisiana, trying to deal with vampires, werewolves, demons, even a pair of fairy twins who own a strip club, that keep trying to suck her deeper into their worlds. They are a huge mess, there's no way I could really explain them. The author makes this seemingly silly world feel so real and believable, though. And Sookie kicks so much ass and while still being easy to relate to. I don't know how she does it.
They may not have much literary value, but they are completely addicting. They pull you in until your head hurts from so much reading yet you can't stop.
I feel a little ashamed of liking them so much, though. Maybe it's because I feel a general disgust towards vampire stories now, In The Times Of Twilight. Although it's not so much a vampire story, more like a story with vampires... Yeah. But I have to admit it, I love them and am anxiously awaiting to get my hands on the next book and a year to wait for the next season of True Blood is way too long.
Little things:
- I'm starting to feel the pressure of 'in-a-few-months-I'm-supposed-to-be-in-c
- I'm loving AMC's Mad Men.
- I read El Túnel y La Familia de Pascual Duarte. I loved them. I needed to read something in Spanish, too.
- I'm hating my subconscious mind. I'm not happy about my dreams.
- OMGHALLOWEN!
- No homework today :)
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En mi cabeza una batalla
Sep. 2nd, 2009 | 06:31 pm
mood: 
crushed
listening to: Is It Wicked Not To Care? by Belle and Sebastian
Un mes atrás soñe que estaba por atender una misa en la escuela. Eran los años sesenta, la escuela era toda de niñas y solo monjas estaban a cargo. No quería ir; corrí a esconderme en la biblioteca. Me encontraba tranquila, escóndida en una esquina, pensando que pasaría desapercibida y leyendo un libro. Poco tiempo después me halló una de los monjas y arrastrándome por un brazo me llevó hasta la capilla, donde estaban por dar la eucaristía. Las demás niñas conocían mi constante rebeldía ante las misas, y al verme entrar sonríeron entusiásticamente, pensando que nació de voluntad. El sacerdote llegó a donde mí, extendiendo su mano con el cuerpo de Cristo. No pude responder; caí al piso entre gritos y llantenes. No sabía qué hacer porque la yo de ese entonces creía, pero la yo del ahora se sentía más presente y no podía engañarla.
Hace pocas semanas soñe que me encontraba en el pasado, un tiempo indefinido con reinas, castillos y soldados. Yo solo era una más de los súbditos que andaban por el castillo. Una niña de ocho años no obedecío alguna orden de la reina y ella mandó su muerte. Tenía que morir porque cualquiera que no le hiciera caso era un pecador, y los pecadores debían morir. Corrí a su defensa y vi como empujaban a la niña hecha solo de lágrimas por un balcón. Abajo la esperaba un soldado, listo para patearla hasta la muerte si la caída no lo lograba. Estaban usando la religión, distorsionándola incluso, para justificar sus caprichos. Me volví una loca gritando.
Ambos me perturban aún. Son demostraciones de cuan fuerte se ha tornado mi tumulto interior en los pasados meses. En mi mente hay una guerra entre la fe con la que me criarion y me imparten cada día y los pensamientos que me ha costado tanto trabajo luchar por tanto tiempo.
Tuvimos una misa de inaguración del nuevo año escolar hace poco. La primera vez que le admití a alguien explicitamente que no creo en Dios fue allí, frente a la imagen de la cruxificción, justo antes de comulgar. Estaba tan nerviosa; se me escapó sin pensarlo. El cura llamó mi grupo al altar y pidió que por favor comulgaramos, no importan nuestros pecados, él nos confesaría luego. No queriendo desilusionarlo me pusé en línea, no habiendo comulgado en años. Cuando emepezamos a movernos me había arrepentido. No me atrevía a salir de ahí; toda la escuela estaba mirando como eramos especiales en tomar la eucaristía primero. Pero, ¿cómo carajo iba a hacer esto? Decirlo se sintió como un alivio momentáneo.
Después de comulgar no sentí nada, y después me asusté por no sentir nada, y luego por haber dicho mi creencia en la circunstancia en la que lo hice. Una semana estuve torturándome con ello. El problema es que si en serio no creo, no tendría razón por la qué sentirme así. Todo yace en que me criaron con miedo a Dios. Siempre fue Dios castiga, el Diablo empuja, y la Virgencita te está mirando: el régimen de terror para cualquier mocosa jodona. Acordarme que hace un rato me di con la pared y que haya pensando por un segundo en castigo de Dios, luego de haber discutido la clase de religión y como me siento atacada en ella, me molesta muchísimo.
¿Cómo es que no me pelearé a diario cuando siento que por todas partes mis creencias son bombardeadas?
A veces me siento culpable y asustada, incluso mala, e inmediatamente me siento idiota por pensarlo. Siempre el mismo ciclo. Estoy harta. No puedo estar en paz: por un lado mi madre me estrangula medio jugando cuando le digo que no creo, por otro me atacan en la escuela y en la iglesia, y por otro está la Fa de antes, la que me da razones para temer.
Siento que todos mis pensamientos son atrofiados, que no llegan a la madurez porque siempre hay alguien listo para amarrarlos. No logró pensar sin sentir como que tengo que velar mi espalda constantemente.
¿Cómo no voy a tener cicatrizes permanentes de estapa en mi vida, cicatrizes de guerra?
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(no subject)
Aug. 31st, 2009 | 04:27 pm
mood: angry
We buried Grandma on Saturday. She died exactly five weeks after Grandpa.
At least I can draw some comfort out of imagining them together...
Blanca Margarita Marín Alemañy. She was 86.
Qué mierda. Estoy tan molesta.
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Writer's Block: Don't You Forget about Me
Aug. 7th, 2009 | 06:50 pm
mood: 
bored
Of his movies, of course Ferris Bueller's Day Off. The Breakfest Club is cool, too.
My favorite 'teen flicks' are Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You and Ferris Bueller. Other than that, I think the 'genre' is pretty lame. Anyone have movie suggestions to convince me otherwise? I do love discovering new movies.
There's Rushmore too, but I don't consider that your stereotypical 'teen flick'. It's definitely another coming of age story, but I don't know... It doesn't compare.
My favorite 'teen flicks' are Clueless, 10 Things I Hate About You and Ferris Bueller. Other than that, I think the 'genre' is pretty lame. Anyone have movie suggestions to convince me otherwise? I do love discovering new movies.
There's Rushmore too, but I don't consider that your stereotypical 'teen flick'. It's definitely another coming of age story, but I don't know... It doesn't compare.
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Is It Wicked Not To Care?
Jul. 29th, 2009 | 11:16 am
mood: awake
Lovely, lovely.
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Writer's Block: Bite Me
Jul. 27th, 2009 | 11:13 pm
mood: contemplative
Have you seen Eic Northman? Seriously.
That man (vampire?) is beautiful.
P.S. Everyone, thank you for the comments on my las entry. I'm really much better now.
That man (vampire?) is beautiful.
P.S. Everyone, thank you for the comments on my las entry. I'm really much better now.
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(no subject)
Jul. 23rd, 2009 | 11:19 am
mood: calm
My grandpa died this Monday.
It's my first big death experience and I just don't know. I haven't cried enough, I've made myself not to. During his funeral I simply kept avoiding people, especially the ones crying; I had my arms crossed, teeth clenched, not letting anything escape me.
At first I felt nothing, and I felt nothing about feeling nothing. Shocked.
I haven't told anyone. I've been avoiding any kind of social contact these past few days. I've just hid under the covers, watching tv. I don't think I can face the real world just yet.
Grandpa was 91 years old, he died in his sleep, in his home, with Grandma asleep by his side. It was his time to go.
He'd remained in a pretty weak state since he had been hospitalized a few years ago but his mind remained perfectly healthy, so he felt useless and often talked about wanting to die. I don't blame him. I'm glad he's finally free.
Te amo, Papa. Descanza en paz.
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Writer's Block: Family Heirlooms
Jul. 19th, 2009 | 09:01 pm
location: En casa con Anita
mood: 
giddy
listening to: Jimi Hendrix - All Along the Watchtower | Powered by Last.fm
Is there anything in your family that has been passed down from generation to generation, or from family member to family member? What is it? And who do you plan to pass it on to? Submitted By |
It's kind of stupid. I've been saying that I'm going to break it since I was five. There's too many Marys and Marías in this world, and too many other names to choose from.
Who knows, though? I may feel guilty and end up using it. I may not have children, or I may not have a girl. Whatever.
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And Then Buffy Staked Edward, The End
Jun. 24th, 2009 | 02:31 am
mood: 
exhausted
Just watch. Please.
I love the person who's responsible for this. I'm thinking they must really be a fan of Buffy to have found all the perfect clips and piece it all so well together. Amazing work.
I love the person who's responsible for this. I'm thinking they must really be a fan of Buffy to have found all the perfect clips and piece it all so well together. Amazing work.
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Food Party
Jun. 20th, 2009 | 06:40 pm
mood: 
amused
listening to: The Postal Service - Sleeping In | Powered by Last.fm
Has anyone here ever seen this show? It's one of the most disturbing things I've seen on TV in a long time.
My sleep-deprived self caught it on IFC at like 3 am the other day. I kept waiting to change the channel, but I simply couldn't. I know it wants to brainwash its viewers. For what? I don't know, and I don't know what to make of it yet. Still, I can't look away. Not yet. I just can't.
A gourmet puppet cooking show with celebrities...
A clip of the third episode:
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Books and More Books
Jun. 9th, 2009 | 04:10 pm
mood: geeky
listening to: Phineas and Ferb
So, last week, completely out of the blue, we drove up to a little mountain town. Some local artisans were selling their goods around the town square, and I ran into one selling vintage books. After rummaging in the boxes of books for a while I got four of them for about seven dollars:
- The Portable Faulkner, a sort of anthology, with episodes from his novels and insight on them. This one is from 1965, its pages are only slightly yellow, some of them with little notes in them. Hilda Deida, Locker 125 scribbled on the first page. I also found an old, torn bus ticket dated November 18 from an unspecified year, but then in pen it dates Monday, December 6 at the bottom. Someone had started writing something in the back then crossed it out; a bit farther down there's the word house written in more legible handwriting. Milwaukee & Suburban Transport Corp. Amazing.
- A paperback 1965 edition of Dracula with a few dog-eared pages, but otherwise in good shape. Its rims are green, ha ha, and it has a funny picture of Count Dracula on the cover.
- Six Great Modern Plays, another anthology, including The Master Builder, Three Sisters, Mrs. Warren's Profession, Red Roses For Me, The Glass Menagerie, and All My Sons. This one is from 1956. It has green rims, too. Funny.
- The biggest treasure of the bunch, methinks, is a 1943 Random House hardcover edition of Jane Eyre. It' big and green, with pretty pictures, and very well-kept. Sadly, I didn't find any signs of previous owners, not a name, not a comment, not a marked page. I'd love to know more of the book's history, yet it adds to the mystery and nostalgia that I own this book that may have been read and loved by various people before me and who knows where it'll end up after me. Beautiful.
On the topic of books, I'd very much like to recommend The Time Traveler's Wife by Audrey Niffenegger. It's so good. I finished it last week and the story has been haunting me ever since.
I also finished re-reading Looking For Alaska some days ago. I had forgotten how good it was. This time I read with it a notebook beside me, writing down every quote I liked.
And right now I'm reading Hamlet and Diary of a Wimpy Kid. Weird combo.
"So she became impulsive, scared by her inaction into perpetual action."
- Looking For Alaska by John Green
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Writer's Block: Talking Ducks
Jun. 9th, 2009 | 12:17 pm
mood: 
content
Beavis and Butthead! No contest.
Seriously, I can't even listen to them. Nada. It's not annoying, it's disturbing. A nivel de escalofríos y todo. Ponme a ver un episodio y creo que lloro, sin exagerar.
Beavis and Buthead phobia.
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Firefly
May. 20th, 2009 | 08:48 pm
mood: amused
listening to: Soda Stereo - No Existes | Powered by Last.fm
I'm a fan of Joss Whedon, as I've mentioned here before, so for a while there I'd wanted to watch Firefly - a short-lived series of his that I kept hearing was pretty good. Well, the other day I discovered it was on Hulu, and finally did watch it, all of it, in two days.
I'm in love. And, because I'm lazy and think I'm sounding a little bit rusty in the English department lately, I shall copy-paste a synopsis for the show.
Five hundred years in the future, a renegade crew aboard a small, mobile, spacecraft tries to survive as they travel the unknown parts of the galaxy and evade warring factions as well as authority agents out to get them.
That's it, basically. There's so much more, though, it's amazing. The show blends sci-fi and western elements so well, it just seems natural. It takes place in the future, in a spacecraft, but all the situations, every character, feel so real. It gives one much to think about too, it's a different approach on the future, one that doesn't seem too science fiction-y. The Earth has been used up, so we move on to other planets and moons, making them as hospitable and Earth-like as possible. A war for independence has been fought and lost. The government is even more corrupt and crazy. There's the abandoned-to-their-luck-to-be-run-by-gan
Sadly, it only lasted one season, a fourteen episode one. Fans pleaded and a movie was made - Serenity. I have yet to watch it, though, but I'm sure it's great and can't wait until I do.
I'm usually not big on science fiction, nor western themes, but I absolutely loved this. Watch it.
A link to the whole series on Hulu:
http://www.hulu.com/firefly
Fifo, si lees esto, ¡gracias!
In other totally unrelated news, I saw Wolverine the other day. It was okay.
I recently found out one of my play-mates from when I was a kid is three months pregnant. She's seventeen. Just the other day I was listening to my grandma call her brilliant, and about how she'd been recently accepted to college and how her mom was so proud. Such a nice girl, you know. Too bad her brilliancy wasn't enough for her to do some research on contraceptives. It's bad, poor her and all, but I can only feel anger. It makes me feel ashamed. Morona.
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Writer's Block: Folktales of the City
May. 9th, 2009 | 12:10 am
mood: 
sleepy
listening to: Café Tacuba - De Acuerdo | Powered by Last.fm
What is your favorite urban legend? Have you or anyone you know ever been fooled by one? Submitted By |
Ja ja ja. La mejor.
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Writer's Block: Beautiful Vistas
Apr. 23rd, 2009 | 06:14 pm
location: rainy Mayagüez
mood: 
scared
listening to: Enrique Bunbury - El Hombre Delgado Que No Flaqueará Jamás | Powered by Last.fm
Flamenco al anochecer.
El cielo, bañado en diamantes, una cantidad inimaginable de estrellas; el agua y el sonido de las olas; la arena tibia con sus minas de brillo; la brisa...
Una foto no podría empezar a capturarlo. Y claro que planeo volver, ¿es en serio?
El cielo, bañado en diamantes, una cantidad inimaginable de estrellas; el agua y el sonido de las olas; la arena tibia con sus minas de brillo; la brisa...
Una foto no podría empezar a capturarlo. Y claro que planeo volver, ¿es en serio?